There is Only Dishonor in Not Racing Because of Fear

Have you ever had a dream where you knew that you were meant to do something great in this world? A dream where you knew that for whatever reason you were put on this planet to make a difference? To influence and impact others in such a way that it would cause a ripple effect? I am talking about such a big dream that when you think about that one thing all you feel is happiness and excitement throughout your body? Most likely, it is something that you've wanted to do since you were young. As you read this, I want you to think about what that dream is to you. Now before we continue, I want you to do a little mental exercise.

First, I want you to imagine what that dream is for you. Once you get that dream in your mind, take a deep breath, and for thirty seconds with your eyes closed, imagine what it would look like to begin living out that dream right now. Now, I want you to reflect on what that felt like. I bet I can guarantee that out of those thirty seconds, you began telling yourself why you couldn't actually accomplish that dream or why it is too hard to begin. Even though you know God put you on this planet for a higher purpose, you are content with telling yourself you're never going to accomplish this dream or go for it. You see, fear keeps us satisfied with how our life "is" and this my friends, "is" the problem that stops us in our tracks. This satisfaction is most likely not satisfying us in our hearts but in our ego, and our ego can be a dangerous thing.

When I was younger, I had two dreams about the world and what I was going to do in it. Bare with me because this gets long but it does have a point. The first dream was that I knew I wanted to help animals who didn't have a voice. My second dream was that I wanted to become an actress. From the days when I could barely walk, I always had animals around me. I felt like they could understand me in a way that a person couldn't. Growing up I was a loner and still to this day, I consider myself a loner. I'm not one who has many friends, I've never been popular or to well-liked. As a young child, I was bullied badly, mentally, and verbally abused, and I would get calls that I should just kill myself from the kids at school.

Not being surrounded by many people or friends, I would sit with my animals and pretend that they could actually understand me. I would mouth to them the emotional stories and pain I felt inside. As I got older my go-to was to talk to my animals about the trials I faced. In return, I usually got a lick on the face, a thumping tail wag, a nudge, and if I was lucky enough, side to side head tilts. During that time of me pouring all my emotions out to my animals, I thought, what goes through their mind? What do they feel and think? Then, my mind started to wonder what all the animals who are abused and lonely felt. "Were they scared? Did they stop fighting when it got tough? Did they ever stop suffering? Did someone out there love them and understand them even with all the hurt they'd been through?"

B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name-o! I got it. My dream was to work with and save as many animals as I could. To top it off, I was going to build an animal sanctuary where I would help animals who have been abused.

My second dream, acting, came naturally to me. I had a family that was already in the business so I was hit with the acting bug early on. I would put on wigs and costumes and no matter where I was, I would act out the scenes I had memorized by studying the characters of my favorite movies. There was a period of time, I would guess about five months, where I told strangers I was Sally Shine from Tower of Terror. I know, I know, you're probably thinking "This girl has one too many dreams that she wants to accomplish." If you haven't read my other blog posts yet, you may not realize I have dealt with severe anxiety and even depression.

So this is where fear comes in. Instead of accomplishing all of these dreams, I let my anxiety and depression get the best of me. Those voices that told me I would never accomplish what I wanted to do, that I was stupid, wasn't good enough, changed my dreams. I let my insecurities get the best of me. I decided that what I would do is what would be "acceptable" to those around me. I would follow the "norm". Rather than go for my dreams, I became afraid of them. Which is what so many of us end up doing.

As we are in quarantine, I have been reflecting on my dreams. I have been looking within my inner child and what truly made me happy and joyous when I was younger. Too many times, we settle. We don't join the race because we are scared of what people may think. We get scared that we won't win by doing what we love. So, we go with what we think others want from us and for us. What I have discovered through this time of reflection and facing my fears is, when trying to please others and society I become so dissatisfied and unhappy. I become more depressed and lost. The funny part is then I try to PLEASE PEOPLE EVEN MORE. The cycle becomes perpetual. Not anymore.

I believe that each day our time is ticking and the more we settle based on the lies others tell us, the further we get away from our true dreams. I am so ready to win the race. To go for my dreams, to finally feel that joy again with animals and acting. Don't let others stop you from following what you truly want even if it makes you different. Even if you struggle for a while, it's worth it. It is never too late. The biggest lesson I can tell you right now is DON'T LET YOURSELF BECOME FALSELY SATISFIED WITH YOUR LIFE because of the fear of losing what you really want out of life. Your dreams were placed within you for a reason. I know what it is like to have that fear keep you from achieving what you want. To feel like you lost your voice. To feel like you are so lost and scrambling to figure it out. It's ok, you aren't alone. Your dreams are still waiting for you to go for them.

My favorite movie is a movie full of lessons and it involves dogs of course. It's a movie about animals and this is what Enzo says as he is born a dog and dreams of becoming a race car driver one day, "There is no dishonor in losing the race. There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose."- The Art of Racing in the Rain. Start looking for that inner child. Find your dreams again. Stop giving yourself a reason as to why you can't begin what you really love. Race the race, and when you fulfill those dreams, you won't lose in the end.

Lovingly,

Lucca